From the physical structures that keep a boat working, to the emotional reinforcement of the crew, sailing is all about support. A functional crew and boat requires many supports, both on a day-to-day, and on a regular long-term basis. While there are some days of sitting at anchor enjoying a day of swimming, exploring on shore, and relaxing, many days of cruising are stressful. There have been many times that Pat and I are tired, cranky, and have been motoring or sailing through foul weather. These are the times that can make or break the enjoyment of a cruising lifestyle. This is when the support between you and the other crew member(s) is essential. It is easy to be angry in these situations and take it out on your beloved partner. But, being aware of how you are communicating, and working to intentionally support your partner in these moments, can help to build you up a long-term love of sailing and one another.
Communication is crucial to allowing all on the boat to feel supported, and knowing how and when to communicate, and its effects on your partner, is equally critical. Learning how to be honest but respectful around how you want your partner or crew to communicate will help sailing be less stressful, less dangerous, and all around more enjoyable. This requires lots of open conversations and practice (which, admittedly can feel corny, but it is worth it!). It also requires each partner to understand that it will take time for the other person to change their communication style while in the middle of struggling with an anchor, or docking a boat, in intense winds. People will need gentle reminders and patience. While it does take effort and a bit of time. it is critical that people work to share with their partner what works for them, and what doesn’t, to come to an understanding around what support each person needs, and how they want to communicate. Because, after all, the success of cruising is all about maintaining the support.